A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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