Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
try to milk me bitch
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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