i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
