do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
