I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
