Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
