i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
