I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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