Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
