The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
