I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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