You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
