I got chris browned last night
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
