week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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