he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
