he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
