sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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