Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
