So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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