Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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