Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
