Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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