I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
More tranny stories later!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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