they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
