I'm lost and stupid without you.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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