Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize