my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
They have beer where we have blood.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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