Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
now i know why i became what i already was.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
