He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
