who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
