I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
