He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
