Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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