Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
