Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
