You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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