she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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