i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
