i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
that is very illegal...i love you.
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