So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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