you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
