I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
