Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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