Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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