i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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