Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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