I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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