so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
