Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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