the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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