brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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