So drunk its hurt
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
