Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
