"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I want to be your penis for a week.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There are leaves in my underwear?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
