I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
